Oxymoron
by Jaded Angel
Summary: J/H. Post Celebration Day. It's in Hyde's P.O.V I forgot to mention that. :) Hyde is confused and angry. What's with the oxymorons? ;) R


_Disclaimer_: I don't own That 70's Show or any of the members of the cast :( Mmm… I wish I did. I own the plot though! :)

_Author's Notes_: It's a J/H… It's post Celebration Day. It's really sweet… in my opinion… and I like it. I don't count lol. Ok, I don't think there's anything to explain. I'm trying to think, lol… um… there's a few things mentioned that I don't even think existed during the 70's… so you know what… ignore 'em. Lol. And… Jackie's house, I don't remember much of it, so yeah bare with that too please? It's really pretty! And I added things lol. I live in my own world. Ok… if you have any ques write in the review or email me ;-) Ok? Anyway R&R Hope you enjoy!

_*OxyMoron*_

It was a perfect rainy, summer day... for some people. For me, it was a day that decided to follow my mood. Jackie had been at a country club since the second week of summer. I hadn't seen her much at all. Kelso was dating some bimbo, he was just "holding out" for Jackie. Man if I could kill him… I wouldn't… but it's a good thought sometimes.

It had been a month since Jackie decided she needed a "break" from Kelso and me. It had been a month since she declared that she loved herself the most. It had been a month since I could no longer feel any standard emotion. Of course Mrs. Foreman was worried sick. Especially when the whole country music thing occurred. Everywhere I went. Jesus. One person can only take so much country.

Eric and Donna had to put off their little "play house" gig. Red was on a special diet, a special exercise plan, and a special medication. He was going to be fine. The doctors had assured us. But Eric thought it was better that he stuck around for a little while longer.

Kelso, as I said, had a little girlfriend. He really is a man-whore. Fez and Laurie were, ideal for each other. Fez had needs, and Laurie filled them. Though last week she thought she was pregnant. Red almost went into another heart attack. But it was ok, he didn't have another one. And Laurie isn't pregnant. 

I pretty much stayed in my room or at work. I don't do anything else. What's the point? I haven't even really talked in a week. Even I was getting tired of myself. 

I got up and decided I was going to go in the basement and have fun with my friends. So I made my way to the main basement.

Eric and Donna were snuggled on the couch. Luckily the landlord was holding their apartment. Fez was sitting on the lawn chair looking through a comic book. Kelso and, unfortunately, Jackie weren't present.

"Hi guys."

"Good god!" Eric shouted. "The beast lives!"

"Shut up Eric!" Donna giggled. She looked at me. "Hi Hyde."

"Hi whore." Fez said, not looking up.

"Um… what's up?" This was awkward.

"Watching the Scooby doo marathon." Eric answered.

"Foreman, you're such a girl." I said, going to sit in my chair.

"How is Scooby Doo for girls?" He argued. I saw Donna shaking her head.

"It just is." I shrugged.

"Though, Daphne is cute." Fez said, again, not looking up.

"You three are ridiculous." Donna laughed.

Kelso took that moment, to run into the basement.

"Hey guys! I think we should let Ginger take the place of Jackie." The four of us looked at Kelso. "Well, we haven't seen her all summer, and Ginger is hot man!" 

"Shut up!" Donna was the first to speak. "One, YOU haven't seen her all summer because you're an idiot. Two, she's my best friend!"

"What do you mean, he hasn't seen her all summer?" I raised an eyebrow. "Have you seen her?"

"Um… well… no… I just… emphasis…" She stuttered. Suddenly I felt very angry, and hurt.

"You saw her!" I shouted. Donna grabbed held of Eric's hand. 

"She…invited me and Eric to the country club. We spent the day with her."

"Not that bad of a girl when she's all heart broken and tanning." Eric said, looking at the TV. 

Kelso and I stared at the couple.

"Does it matter? I saw her too. I went shopping with her last week." Fez said, absorbed in his comic book.

"You went shopping with her!" I said, angrily.

"Yes, she bought me shoes." Fez said, again, not looking up.

"You all saw her!" I was totally pissed. "So me and Kelso are on the outside!"

"Well actually…" Kelso started. I looked at him sharply. "I didn't hang out with her or anything. But I was kinda stalking her house.

"Staking." Eric corrected.

"Exactly, stalking her house. So I got to see her." So here I was, the only one who hadn't seen her… in a month. 

I had never been so angry in my life. I got up, stalked to the door, shouted, "screw you all," and slammed the door.

*

I was walking, in the rain. I had no clue where the hell to go. I was pretty pissed. I wanted to see Jackie. I wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to taste her, and I couldn't. I was so angry, so pissed off.

I must've been walking for forever, until I came to a large house. It was huge; it had class written all over it. 

The Burkhart Mansion. 

I walked up to the tall doors that cowered over me. I put my hand on the knob and twisted it gently.

It was open.

So, now I was breaking and entering. That should go well on my permanent record. I walked around. The house smelt of fancy parties that lasted till dawn, brandy, cigarettes, expensive perfumes, and most of all money.  The inside still had everything neatly placed in it, like the furniture and the tall cabinets.

I continued to look around. There were crystal figurines, porcelain statues, and marble floors. It was huge. I had only been in the Burkhart Mansion, maybe once or twice. I fumbled around the classy rooms and offices. The smell of cigars and brandy stuck to the walls. I finally came across a marble staircase. It had dulled from lack of cleaning, but it was still breath taking. 

I climbed the massive staircase. As I got to the top there was a door. Nothing else. I opened the door; there was a long hallway.

Slowly, I walked down the hallway. I had counted seven doors. I finally got to the end of the hallway. There was a huge portrait of the Burkharts. Jackie and her mother were seated, while Mr. Burkhart was standing, a hand on his daughter's shoulder and one behind his wife's back. Jackie was the only one smiling. Mr. and Mrs. Burkhart had thin lips that were in lines. 

The picture was a little scary, not Jackie of course, but her parents. I turned around; as I walked I decide to open rooms. The first two rooms were living rooms, one with a table, and the other a piano. The next room was a spacious bathroom. Room number four was a white bedroom, and so was room five. I opened the sixth door that was only five or six feet from the door that lead to the stairs. Inside was pink; it looked like Pepto-Bismol had thrown up in it. It had pictures of Donny Osmond and unicorns on the walls. There were rainbows, and other girlie crap. 

I walked into the room. Suddenly a new scent over came me. The room didn't smell of brandy, cigars, or even cigarettes. It smelt of roses, and fresh strawberries, it smelt of dreaming nights, and sunny days. It smelt nothing like the rest of the house. It smelt like Jackie.

I smiled. I went over to the bed and sat on it. It was the most comfortable thing I have ever touched. It was springy but hard. It was soft, yet firm. It was an oxymoron.

I fell down on the bed, from my sitting position. I could imagine sleeping on this thing for years. This had to be what Jackie was talking about when she mentioned "beauty sleep." 

I got up and noticed something I hadn't seen when I walked in. I got up and walked to her door that I had closed. There was a large poster of Led Zeppelin. And pinned to it was a picture of her and me, from the prom I had taken her to, years ago.

I smiled; I had a lot of effect on Jackie. And I didn't notice. I walked out of her room and closed the door. There was only one room left.

I went up and peeked inside. It was a sitting room. It was a pale pink, with white curtains on the two windows, white leather furniture, with a pink blanket hanging on it, there was also a fire place, and hanging on the wall next to the door was a wooden sign that said Jaclyn's Place. 

I walked into the room. Again the smell of cigars and brandy was left in the hall. The room smelt of fire filled nights, and roses. The room had stuffed animals positioned around it. There was a phone on top of one of the glass tables next to the couch. On the mantle were various picture frames.

I walked over and started from the left side. It was of her and Kelso, laughing. The next one was of her and Donna; they were looking at each other, talking, probably unaware of the picture being taken. The third was one with Kelso and her along with Eric and Donna they were dressed up. Next was of Fez, Eric, Kelso, and me the night of the disco. Then was the picture she took with Donna that night. The sixth one was Eric, Fez, her, and me. We were outside, around the El Camino, laughing. That was the summer Donna and Kelso went to California. She had gotten Eric to laugh for the first time in weeks. The next picture was Mrs. Foreman, Red, Eric, and Donna. The last picture was a picture I didn't remember taking. It was of her and me at the old tire swing in the corner of the park. It was her favorite spot to sneak off too. I stared at the picture. She was sitting in the swing. I was holding the top of it and looking down at her. My mouth was open, but I'm smiling. And she's looking up at me smiling too. 

I picked the frame up, to get a closer look. Something fell from the back. I bent down to pick it up. It was a picture from long ago. Mrs. Foreman had come downstairs to take a picture of Donna and Eric, but I was down there, and so was Jackie, so she could find Kelso. 

Kitty asked us to pose so she could quickly finish her film. I was sitting on the couch, smirking. Jackie was behind me, her arms around my neck. Our cheeks were pressed together. Jackie was smiling brightly.

I missed seeing that smile. I missed being the cause of that smile. To think I could make her smile AND cry. I'm definitely an oxymoron.

I turned my attention back to the other picture, the swing picture. 

"Who the hell took you?" I asked to the empty room. But it wasn't the empty room that answered me.

"Mrs. Foreman." I spun around. I looked to see a soaked Jackie.

"When?" I was much more interested in hearing about the details, then talking about Jackie and me.

"Last October. I wanted a picture that would speak in volumes. So she got in her car and followed us to the park. She took about a gazillion pictures. Actually she took pictures all the time of us. I have a whole box." Jackie said walking into the room. She sat on the leather couch, her clothes sticking to her body.

"Oh." I said, calmly.

"Yeah." I looked at her. Her hair was damp, sticking to her head and neck. She was in jeans and a paper-thin shirt, which were all sticking to her petite body. Her skin was a shade or two darker, her face looked different, mature. Her cheeks were rosier, and her eyes were still big. She looked different. "What are you doing here?" 

I looked at her. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" She repeated back, slowly.

"I was walking in the rain, came across here, the door was opened, so I decided to look around." It was the truth.

"Ah." She said.

"Jackie?" She looked at me. "Where are we?"

"My house?" She answered confused.

"No. I mean _where_? As in where do we stand? We're not friends, and we're not a couple. So, where are we?" She looked at me. 

"I don't… I don't know." She stuttered, her earlier tone of remorse, disappearing. I walked over to her, and sat down next to her.

"If you're not ready to choose between me or Kelso, fine. But I have to know, where?" I said.

"Stev—Hyde… Steven." She groaned. "I'm… not sure. We're in-between."

"That's not good enough." It wasn't. I felt too much, too deep for her, to be in between.

"I don't know what you want from me!" She said, defense fully.

"All I want is to know is where we stand with each other? So I can stop being depressed, and stop thinking about you, stop missing you, to stop loving you!" I said. She looked at me, unsure of what to think or feel.

There was a long pause, and she wasn't making eye contact.

"It's raining really hard. The weather isn't suppose to let up. I think we better stay here for the night. Neither of us have a car. Call… call Eric and tell him you'll stay over tonight. I'm going to go change. I'll call Donna when I'm done." She got up. She was going to avoid the conversation.

"Fine. Can I have some clothes though, please?" I asked. I was still a little wet too. She didn't turn her head, but she nodded.

I picked up the phone and dialed numbers.

*

It had been two hours since we called Eric and Donna. Jackie was right; the weather had gotten much worse. Flood effects were being issued. We had lit a fire, and decided to stay in the sitting room because it was warm and comfortable. That and I didn't want to go back into the cigar smelling rooms.

I was wearing a pair of loose jeans, a pair of socks, and my Led Zeppelin shirt. The jeans and socks were from her father's common clothes, and the shirt was the one I gave her for her birthday. She had it with her, in her bag. It was still dry. 

Jackie was wearing a pair of red, silk pajama pants, with a pink cotton tank top. She brushed her hair into a messy bun. She was wearing regular white socks. 

We were both facing the fire, which was making popping and crackling noises. She was sitting on the couch one leg under her, and the other one pulled up so her head could rest on her knee. I was sitting on the floor, Indian style, my back up against the couch. We were less then a foot away from each other. I looked at the hanging clock. It was only nine.

"So?" I said, breaking the silence that had enveloped us over the past hour or so.

"So… how… how is your summer going?" She asked gently.

"Pretty good, except for the fact that I lost the girl I loved, and she's seen everyone this summer but me." I looked at Jackie; I had removed my sunglasses long ago. Right now they were on the mantle. "How's your summer going?"

She turned her head. "Well after I got my heart broken, I began busying myself, but nothing helps the empty feeling. So, yeah, I'm having a crappy summer."

I was a little shocked. Maybe she wasn't livin' it up like I thought. I stared at her. I'd give the world to kiss those pouty lips.

"Steven?" I was shaken out of my world. I looked at her, my eyes telling her to go on. "Why?"

I was confused. Why what? Why was I here? Why did I cheat with some slutty nurse? Why didn't I stalk her like Kelso? Because… I love her.

"I love you." I said, what else would I have said?

"You love me, so you slept with someone else?" She asked, her tone harder.

"Yes. I slept with her because I loved you so much and I thought that you and Kelso were back together." It was true.

"Why would I get back with Michael?"

"I don't know. Why wouldn't you?" 

"I don't want to hurt you." 

Her last comment drove us back to silence. How long it would last this time was beyond me.

*

I sat in the silent room, my thoughts quietly going along as they usually did. It had been half an hour since our last little talk. I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn't want to turn around.

"Do you miss me?" I turned my head, her voice trembled slightly. Was she scared I say no? 

"You know I do." I looked her in the eyes. 

"I miss you too." Her voice still trembling.

"Jackie." I said soothingly. I yanked on her foot gently, suggesting she sit next to me on the nice soft carpet.

She obeyed and moved from the couch to the floor. I put an arm around her shoulders, she didn't object.

"I am so sorry. I was stupid, inconsiderate, and above all an asshole. But I love you, and the mere thought of you and Kelso, was too much. So when I saw you with him, on the couch. I freaked. I don't know what got into me. I've never felt so heart broken and so guilty. I have never felt so much because of someone." I was giving her the one thing she wanted since the very beginning: my feelings, my thoughts, my emotions, above all, myself.

"Steven." She said, her voice wavering. "I…"

"I know you probably can't forgive me. I know I'm not worth your forgiveness. I'm not worth anything—" I was cut off by her hands upon my cheeks and her lips on mine. I got into the kiss, I began letting my hands roam her sides her back. She pulled away and leaned her forehead against mine.

"Steven, you are not worth nothing. You're worth the world, and no one can tell you different, not even yourself." I looked at her. Her chocolate eyes danced. "I have never met anyone half as amazing as you. You surprise me everyday. And I love you more then anything. So please don't ever sell yourself short. I can forgive you. I will forgive." Jackie smiled.

"Jackie…"

"No." She kissed my lips gently, not taking her eyes off of me. "I believe you. You're sorry, and it might take time, but I love you, and I can't help that. But I can help if I forgive you or not. And I think I'm ready to forgive you."

That was it. I took her in my arms and kissed her passionately. I missed her. I didn't care if we were ok or not. I just wanted to feel her. After a few minutes we pulled away.

"For the record. I chose you long ago." She giggled as I kissed her again, this time more passionately, and hungrily.

*

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock hanging from the wall. I believed it said twelve o'clock, but I wasn't totally sure. I looked around; the fire was still burning, considering it was an electric fireplace. I looked down and saw my sleeping angel next to me; we were both without our clothes. I was staring at the pile.  I went back to looking her over. My arm was draped around her. Her hair was loose and was in a curly mess. She looked absolutely beautiful.

I put my head down and kissed her messy haired head. I then kissed her shoulder.

"Mmm…" She moaned.

"Shh… I love you." I said. 

"I love you too." She said tiredly. She then turned her body so that her face was on my chest. I could feel her heated breath on my smooth skin. I put my head down and tightened my grip on her.

I began slipping in between sleep and awake. But my last thoughts stayed on Jackie. 

She was perfect, but I loved her because she was imperfect. She was shallow, but not really. She was everything I hated, but I loved her more then anything.

She was the ultimate oxymoron.


End file.
